Did you know what to expect when you walked into your marriage? What hopes and expectations did you need to adjust after your wedding day? Authors Greg and Julie Gorman share some of their hard-earned wisdom and talk about ten things we should know before tying the knot:

1. Surrender Completely
Greg says when two sinners come together, they realize just how selfish they are. God calls us to love sacrificially, in Jesus’ Name. One dictionary defines surrender as “to give up in favor of another.” Laying down your own rights causes your spouse to want to imitate your selflessness.

2. Forgive Freely
Greg shares  what he’s learned about forgiving in marriage. “If we’re to love our wives as Christ loved the Church, He not only died on that cross – a miserable task to have to endure – He loved the church and laid down His life actively. I believe that’s what I’m called to do as a husband as well.”

Julie agrees:

“There is an impossibility in our flesh to truly extend forgiveness. Our ability to forgive derives only from an ongoing intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I know what I’ve been forgiven of. He who has been forgiven much, forgives much. My strength is from that ongoing relationship.”

Here are the other tips Greg and Julie detail in their book, What I Wish My Mother Had Told Me about Marriage: Unlocking 10 Secrets to a Thriving Marriage.

3. Don’t shift the blame
4. Resist the devil’s lies
5. Replace unrealistic expectations
6. Tame your tongue
7. Be intentional
8. Pursue intimacy, not just sex
9. Fight for – not with – one another
10. Dare to dream together

Greg points out that a common theme is accountability and seeking for God to change us first. “We can’t grow if we insist that all our problems are somebody else’s fault. They’ll continue to show up again and again.”

Highlight : The counter-intuitive nature of surrender

What I wish my mother had told me about marriage

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