Some couples can be so focused on nurturing their children, caring for them and being with them that they have only leftovers, if that, to give to their spouse.
While parenting is important, the couple’s marriage is important, and it needs to be valued.
Pastor Ted Cunningham discusses the dangers of a child-centered marriage in his book Great Parents, Lousy Lovers: Discover How to Enjoy Life with Your Spouse While Raising Your Kids.
Ted says that churches support great parents and lousy lovers when they put too much focus on children’s ministry. Churches end up doing the same thing parents do which is make kids the priority over everything.
Making children the supreme priority isn’t what’s best for them.
“The greatest gift you can give your children is a mom and a dad who love each other.”
Showing kids a good marriage gives them the opportunity to see what their future marriage could look like. When they see a strong marriage children learn by example how they should treat their future spouse.
It’s important that children aren’t made the center of the home because if they grow up with that mindset, it will follow them into young adulthood. People who think the world revolves around them make lousy adults and lousy employees.
An disproportionate focus on a child can also lead the child to become angry or disillusioned later in life when they realize that they aren’t the center of the world
Sometimes neglecting your spouse for your kids isn’t intentional. Parents can ask themselves what date nights look like — do they include the children or focus on the children’s concerns? This could be a sign that they are great parents and lousy lovers. Does an adult child still live at home? This could be a sign that the couple are great parents and lousy lovers.
Key Scriptures: Genesis 2:24